Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
