why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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