Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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