remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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