omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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