He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
