I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
