I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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