I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
