Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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