I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
