new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
