The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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