Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
