It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
