Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
