A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
