the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
