You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
