I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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