Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
