I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
