youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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