I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
