Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize