okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize