I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
