I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
