is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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