Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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