OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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