shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize