At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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