Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
