I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
These tits shall not be calmed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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