I only kidnapped one of them. chill
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
