don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
