bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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