mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
