It's just like the Real World with babies
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
