i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
