I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
