i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
