yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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