There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Your cock deserves a montage
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
