Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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