Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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