tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Your penis caused this!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
