We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
