Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just cut my nipple shaving
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
