is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
