Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
