im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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