After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
