We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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