I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
