oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
