dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
