it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am available for nakedness
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
