i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there was a trapeze. enough said
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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