No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
