He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize