I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
