Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
