am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it's like iHOP with fire
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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